:: maker ::

Life has been weighing heavy on my heart. 


I got a diagnosis on my hand pain that has steadily grown worse over the last couple of years. To the point where the pain takes my breath away when I grip a certain way or grab a tool and squeeze without a thought. These hands of mine might ache day in and day out but they are most happy making. 

I can’t imagine not being able to make anymore…but there will surely be a day when:


I can’t hold my file steady to make the smooth strokes.
I can’t bend the thin bezel tightly around the tiny stone.
I can’t grip the graver strong enough to push.
I can’t steady my hands to set the whisper of a diamond.
I can’t hammer the metal to my will.
I can’t hold my flame steady to guide the solder to flow.


But today, I still can. The question heavy on my heart is: For how long? 
​

While I don’t have these answers, I’m trying to find my way with this news. I am struggling to understand but also grieving limitations that lurk around the corners.  I am ALSO ok. And hopeful treatments and care will allow for more time. Confusing as that seems, it’s all true, all at once.


So changes are happening. Self limits are imposed to preserve whatever time I am granted to make. I don’t really know how this will go. For now, I am grateful I am still making. That I am still A Maker.​